Archive for February, 2009

Bobby Jindal is a retard

Posted in People, Politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 27, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

Do I even need to justify this assertion? Neocons piss me off more than I can possible express. I hope that when Bobby Jindal dies that he is reincarnated as a homosexual woman in need of an abortion for medical reasons and dependant upon governmental aid for food. Governmental aid which he turned down from the stimulus in hopes of being the Rep nomination for president in 2012. 

That would be justice.


Why do conservatives always pick the dumbest possible person to represent them? Seriously, Limbaugh, Palin, Jindal. They’re all FUCKING RETARDED.

Octuplets Bitch pisses me off

Posted in People with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 26, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

Octo-bitch should be sterilized and her kids should have been aborted.

I’m pretty sure all of you have heard of Nadya Suleman. She’s a retard who pooped out eight kids created by fertility treatments after already having six others. Normally, I wouldn’t care about something like this, but Suleman is unemployed and will probably leech a few million dollars off of society to support the kids she pooped out. To make things even nastier, she got the money for the fertility treatments by defrauding the US government for disability payments.



Since she had her kids with stolen government money, I think they should be made into government property. Federal agents should take all of her kids away and make her work off the defrauded disability payments to get themm back. That is if she’s even sane enough to have kids.

What sort of sane person wants 14 kids when they have no way to pay for them?

I think Sulebitch did this for attention. After she finished crapping out her mutant babies, she immediately went to talk to the press. She wanted to sell her story to them, when some digging was done everyone realized how much of a cunt she is and thus she probably won’t be able to sell her story. Who wants to read about a deranged bitch who feels the need to poop out 8 kids.

One benefit of this whole thing was getting to see her use pro-life arguments to argue for having a number of children better suited to a dog having puppies. I hope through Sulebitch people will see how retarded pro-lifers are.

Michael Phelps Pisses Me Off

Posted in Legal, People, Society, Sports with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 8, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

Here is Michael Phelps:

Half-man, half-manatee

Half-man, half-manatee

Here is Michael Phelps on pot:

Bitchin' watch

Bitchin' watch

Do you see the difference?


Anyone who isn’t living in a cave in Pakistan has heard that Phelps was caught on film smoking pot. There was a media shitstorm about it and Phelps apologiced after kellogs dropped him. Some other advertizers kept Phelps on, but for the most part anything which could potentially be sold to children was dropped and his membership to some silly swimming club was suspended for three months in light of his heinously terrible and near unforgivable actions.
In reality, the media shitstorm which descended upon Phelps was not because he smoked pot. Musicians and actors get caught smoking all kinds of illegal things all the time, they get tossed into rehab and then they pop out fine and nobody but tabloids and tabloid readers take any notice.
Typical tabloid reading retard

Typical tabloid reading retard

The shitstorm descended upon Phelps, descended upon him because he is an athlete. Not only is he an athlete, he is the best athlete in the world in his sport. There are six and a half billion people on earth and none of them are better at swimming than Michael Phelps. If Phelps challenges you to a swimming race, there is no point in accepting, he will kick your ass ten times over.
Right now, you are probably wondering why any of this is relevent. It is because in America, a useless, consevatarded half-wit named Ronald Reagan decided that he would purge the United States of recreational drugs.  Being a typical conservatard, Reagan was not able to think up a plan that did not involve war in some way and thus declared a war that the US can’t hope to pay for called the “War on drugs”. This war on drugs was and is fought in many ways. The only one relevant to this post being the massive propaganda campaign aimed at convincing people that even thinking about thinking about using a controlled substance will immediately turn you into a fat, lonely slob who spends all day in his basement watching Family Guy and eating Cheetos who can at best get a job as a janitor at the local Walmart. Phelps is being so hit with the shitstick because he proves the drug war propaganda to be false. Phelps proves that you can smoke pot and be wealthy, well liked, active and in shape. Granted, he’s about $30 million poorer now that Kellogs has dropped him, but he’s still fantastically wealthy compared to most people in the world. Because Phelps showed the drug war propaganda to be false, he was forced to apologize and his name will be tarnished, probably forever.
Personally, I don’t think that being a fatty who works a mindless job and spends his free time smoking pot is such a bleak life. I myself, do not use any illegal substances. I need to keep my mind clear so that I can earn a PhD in computer science. However, I take no issue with other people who want to smoke pot and clean floors. Even if I were not striving for a higher education, I still would not use drugs, mostly because I am terrified of having my thought processes effected by some external power. However, I feel no need to impose my desire to not use drugs onto other people. If a person wants to responsibly use marijuana within their own home, why should I notice, much less care?
You may be wondering, why Phelps pisses me off, when thus far most of my rant has been about the war on drugs. Phelps pisses me off because he apologized for using drugs. He pisses me off because he caved to the morality squad and claimed that his pot smoking was “bad judgement”. He pisses me off because he is not willing to admit that he smokes pot. More than anything, he pisses me off for not loudly exposing the drug war to be the fraudulent waste of resources that it is. 

Islam and the European Union Piss Me Off!

Posted in Places, Politics, Society with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 5, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

Why does Islam piss me off?

It pisses me off because it is like a vine which crawls up the tree of indiginous culture and strangles it to death. The Europeans are told to feel ashamed that they are european. They are called heathens, told that their life-styles are filthy and that they are morally degenerate. However, the second the Europeans criticize Islam back, they are accused of being racists and Islamophobes. Islam likes to dish out criticism, but cries and screams persecution when criticism is returned.


Why does the EU piss me off?

Because the whole content is doing it’s best to prostrate itsself towards Mecca and become an Islamic theocracy. Religion has no part in politics. A religion which advocates slaughtering people who dissent has no place in humanity.

Geert Wilders is getting prosecuted, basically just for criticizing Islam. He made a documentary about islamic hatespeech called “Fitna” and is ironically going to be prosecuted for hatespeech. Geert Wilders is under 24 hour protection to keep from being violently murdered by members of “The religion of peace” yet he is the criminal?

To make things even nastier, he was scheduled to visit the British House of Lords to screen “Fitna” and talk to members of parliment there. However a supreme muslim douchbag and negligent murderer (He caused a man’s death because he felt the need to send a text message while driving) named “Lord” Ahmed threatened to bring 10k muslims to the House of Lords to “demonstrate” against Geert Wilders. The House of Lords promptly apologized and canceled Wilders’ visit.

Obviously, The House of Lords was not scared of a peaceful demonstration. They caved because the demonstration was basically the threat to gather up an army of 10k against the House of Lords. You know what people who scare people into doing what they want are called?


Ahmed, like Osama but really fat

Ahmed, like Osama but really fat

People like douche-fuck-fat-sack-man-tits-Ahmed need to realize that western values are the reason the west is vastly more successful than the middle east. When they disappear, we will be just a backwards as Pakistan or Iran. Critisizing any ideaology should not be taboo. Censorship stifles good ideas in favor of protecting bad ones. It retards civilization. People like dickhead Ahmed would love to see their barbaric religion drag humanity back into the fourteenth century.

The Stimulus Bill Really Pisses Me Off

Posted in Politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 2, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

I have no idea what the reasoning behind the bill was. I think the democrat party just had a stupid moment. Upon seeing that statement, don’t assume I’m a Rush-Limbaugh-tarded neocon. Neocons piss me off and will probably be targeted in a later article.

Limbaugh = Shit

Limbaugh = Shit

Here is my big problem with the stimulus package though, if we have a trillion dollars, and we are ten trillion in the hole, why give the trillion dollars to random people so that they can buy stuff? Why not take the trillion dollars and use it to directly pay off 10% of our national debt?

Interest on our national debt is the second largest expense of the United States government. The only thing we waste more money on is our gigantic world-domination-super-overpowered for national defense army. What reasoning exists to support the idea that giving a trillion dollars out at random will help us get out of debt? We are in economic crunch  time and contrary to what a lot of political pundents like to expouse, the solution is simple. Use money to pay off the debt, rather than using the money for pointless things.

We should stop using our money to fund pointless wars and abortions in random places and use it to pay off the national debt. Once we eliminate the debt, we eliminate the interest on the debt. That gets rid of our second largest expense which cures the defecit. After it is gone we can go back to aborting pregnancies in random countries and bombing third world nations.

As I said earlier, don’t get me wrong, I am all for people getting abortions if they want them. I am all for distributing condoms to help get rid of STDs. I could even get behind bombing a third world country, if we picked the right one. However, I am against all of these things when we are so far in debt. We need to get out of the hole before it collapses on top of use and we are burried.

Sylvia Browne Really Pisses Me Off

Posted in People with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 2, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff


Sylvia Browne is that stupid scam artist who used to frequently appear on the Montel Williams Show. Basically, she talks to people to try to convince them that she can talk to dead people. She does this by making really broad statements at a large sample of people, she then slowly refines her broad statements until some teary-eyed foolish person jumps up and yells “That’s my dead (insert signoficant other here)!”. Whenever she doesn’t have a large sample of people (like when she is on a call in show) she frequently gets things wrong. She brushes off her incorrect answers by saying things like “Only god is right all the time!!! It would be scary is I was always right!!!”. In addition to making obnoxious claims and charging outrageous sums of money for them, Sylvia Browne has the most obnoxious, nasaly voice in the universe.

She likes to claim that her “powers” come from god. This isn’t so much as to add to her mythology, but rather to try to claim that people who attack her are attacking Christianity and the concept of the holy spirit. She tries to conflate her bullshit with a religion that about two billion people on the planet hold sacred. I hate religion, religion really pisses me off. Compounding it with Sylvia Browne only makes it much worse.

Let’s all put on our mystical spiritual holy spirit white light glasses and see Sylvia Browne in its true form!

Sylvia's true form.

Sylvia's true form.

Lawn Gnomes Really Piss Me Off

Posted in Outdoors with tags , , , , , on February 1, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff
Smug bastard

Smug bastard

How can anybody look at one of these and not get pissed off?

Lawn gnomes look like cheap ceramic Christmas decorations and it is like some sort of sick joke that they are left out all year. I have never met a person who owned a lawn gnome who didn’t send out evil child molestor vibes across the universe.