Archive for April, 2009

Republicans are Stupid I

Posted in People, Politics, Society with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 3, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

Obama called neocons out on their bullshit earlier by pointing out that they didn’t have an alternate budget. They then created one. It’s a joke that nobody is laughing at. All the GOP’s budget proposal is, is tax cuts for everyone and a spending freeze to keep everything but military spending at it’s current level for the next five years. There original budget had no numbers, no spending and no deficit projections.

It obviously got laughted at. Proposing a budget without actually proposing a budget is fucking retarded. They were once again called out on their bullshit and responded by redoing their budget with numbers. It supplies major tax cuts for anyone and projects a continuing budget of 500 billion a year. It has no way to pay off the debt, no way to decrease the budget and would probably cause an economic collapse within a decade.

Why are Republicans so dumb?!? Seriously, I WANT A TWO PARTY SYSTEM WHERE NEITHER PARTY IS DOMINATED BY RETARDS!!! Obama’s budget might not be perfect, it might not even be good, but atleast it shows promise of fixing the problem. The Republican strategy seems to be to pretend that there isn’t a problem and continue until the problem becomes fatal. Kind of like someone who is eating food laced with cyanide, and knows that the food is laced with cyanide. The Republican budget is economic suicide and doesn’t make any sense.

Ronald Reagan is the one who started this fiscal irresponsibility bullshit. He’s the one who convinced the GOP that the solution to everything is cutting taxes, giving the military more money and ignoring the deficit. He was the first big government conservative and it almost solely to blame for this bullshit mentality.

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NASCAR Fans are Mindless Retards

Posted in Society, Sports with tags , , , , , , , , on April 2, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

As an April Fool’s Joke, NASCAR retards claimed that President Obama had ordered Chevy and Dodge out of the race for recieving bailout funds. This got everyone pissed at NASCAR. NASCAR deserves it. Good job retards.

John Shimkus is a Fucking Moron

Posted in Legal, People, Politics, religion, Superstition with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 2, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

Watch the video and be terrified. John Shimkus is a dumb cunt and he has political power?!? The video supplied is a congressional hearing on global warming. After hearing a bunch of testimonies from scientists explaining how climate change works and what it is doing, John Shimkus gives his testimony.

Guess what this fuckwhit does, c’mon try to guess.

He starts out by trying to conflate not taking his religious bullshit with censorship, then he whips out a bible and starts reading the part where god promises that he won’t flood the world again. He then says that because he believes that the bible is the perfect infalliable word of god, that settles the global warming issue and that we shouldn’t worry about our inpact on the planet, because Jesus is going to destory the planet. He then goes on to quote revelation to and say that only god know when the world will end. He then states that there isn’t enough carbon in the atmosphere and says that there is a theological debate about wether or not this is a “carbon starved” planet.

What the fuck does theology have to do with reality? Now a single fucking thing! We live in reality, not some fairytale bullshit thought up by bronze age savages to explain away things which they were too fucking stupid to comprehend!

 

I’m now going to refute his argument with his own reasoning on a few grounds:

1. Lets say for a second that the bible isn’t an ancient book of bronze age bullshit. Lets take the enormous leap in reasoning and take it as the infalliable word of a deranged desert god. Even if you take it as literal and true, it says god won’t destroy the world via flooding again. It doesn’t say anything about god preventing humans from destroying the world.

2. In Revelation it says that nobody knows the day nor the hour that the world will end. The climate scientists have predicted neither a day nor an hour. That makes the Revelation reference a non sequitur, even if it is the literal word of god.

People who don’t care about the earth because they think Jesus is coming back to destroy it are morons. They should all go drink bleach and meet their imaginary god a little bit sooner.

I do not want to live in a one party country, but I can’t support republicans so long as they have people trumpeting this stupid bullshit. I can’t believe that they could say these retarded things and then not understand why they’re not getting elected. I would love to see some real Republican opposition to the Democratic leadership. I would like to see fresh ideas. However, fresh ideas aren’t going to come from this fuckhead and his Bible (or as I like to call it, old fasioned toilet paper). It really seems like all of the intelligent people are flocking to one political party though, and that party is NOT the Republican party.

John Shimkus is a fucking retard. If you live in his district, or you vote in his state. Send him some emails letting him know how much of a fucktard he is.

Using an Apple Computer Will Make YOU Gay!

Posted in Society, Technology with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 2, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

Here’s irrefutable proof!

See any similarities?

See any similarities?

Definitive test

Definitive test

That’s science. Science says that Apple computers will make you gay. Feel free to buy one, but if you are a dude, you will have the sudden desire to suck cock and listen to Abba. If you are a woman, suddendly you will want to wear flannel and be a lumberjack. If you are already a lumberjack, you are immune to becoming gay, though a real lumberjack would destroy a Mac upon noticing it with his mighty lumberjacking ax!

Just being in the vacinity of an Apple computer can give you HIV. HIV was actually created by bad coding on the behalf of Apple computers. If you don’t want to get AIDS, don’t buy a mac. Additionally, Apple computers are fucking expensive and can rarely match the specs of other machines. When I was getting a laptop last fall, I passed by the Apple computers. It was a dark moment full of vasoline and rainbows. In that dark moment, I noticed that Apple laptops cost about 2k and had slow processors and only about 2gb of ram and an 80gp hard drive. My Windows machine, cost about $700, has 4gb of ram and a 500gb hard drive.

Most importantly, it won’t turn me gay.

Don’t think for a second that Ipods are any better. An Ipod will give you HIV just as quickly as an Ibook. Granted, it will do it in a much more musical way, but it will still give you AIDS and at the end of the day, is musical AIDS any better than regular full blown AIDS?

Nickelback Sucks Monkey Ass

Posted in Music, People, Society with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 1, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

 

all labeled n'shit

all labeled n'shit

 Every Nickelback song sounds exactly the same. Nickelback sounds exactly like Theory of a Deadman, Third Eye Blind, Three Doors Down and Creed. Nickelback has no talent and Nickelback fans should be sterilized to keep them from mating. Everytime I hear a Nickelback song, I want rip off my ears and eat them. Every Nickelback song is like being bukkaked in awful music. They pretend to be angst-y and depressed even though they are all millionaires.

The average Nickelback fan is either a douchebag frat boy who wants blasts Nickelback songs from their stupid looking jeeps while trying to look cool for a sorority slut, or a sorority slut. Sometimes they’re fucking retarded middle-schoolers, but most of the time they fall into the frat douche/sorority slut area. These are the dumbest people of earth. Every time a Nickelback album is released there is a big spike in their mating habits. Nickelback should be captured and deported back to Canada, or to Mexico. Preferably in the middle of one of those drug war battles.

Fuck you Nickelback, GTFO my radio.

Kurt Kobain was a Talentless Fucker, Now He’s a Dead Fucker

Posted in Music, People, Society with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 1, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

This is Kurt Cobain.

Utterly talentless

Utterly talentless

He is dead. Let him stay dead. I fucking hate it when I turn on my radio and hear “Smells Like Teen Spirit” or “Rape Me” be droned out by this talentless nutsack. “Smells Like Teen Spirit” sounds like a lobotomized cocaine addict trying to show off on kareoke night at some sleazy bar. It has no lyrical merit at all. It’s just mindless words that occasionally rhyme. If you think think there is any musical talent behind “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, GO DRINK BLEACH!

Kurt Kobain died 15 years ago on April 4. Why is his shit still on the radio? I have a feeling that it only is because he is dead. If Kobain was alive today he would have been forgotten about by now. I propose a new holiday. Anual Kurt Cobain is dead day. On Kurt Cobain is dead day, everyone will go listen to good music and be grateful that Kurt Cobain isn’t around to make new shit.

Conficker is Imaginary and You’re a Dumbass for Being Scared of it!

Posted in Technology with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 1, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

In the event that you have been living in a cave somewhere n Pakistan, Conficker is suppose to be a huge internet worm which will destroy something on April Fools Day of 2009, which is today. It was allegedly programmed by spooky German hackers to take over a huge number of machines and DOS something today, or maybe to scam people out of money, or perhaps to report credit card numbers to the Russian mafia.

Nobody knows what Conficker is going to do and thus the hype over Conficker is retarded.

Here’s why nobody should give a shit about Conficker.

First, DOS attacks go on all the time. A DOS from the 9 million computers which Conficker has infected would be nothing compared to what can be inspired by a /b/tard on a typical day. There have been DOS attacks in the past way bigger than what Conficker could be capable of. /b/ took down the Scientology website and kept it down for like a month once. That’s the power weilded by an internet group of epic justice. If Conficker actually hits anything anyone cares about, /b/ will annialate it.

The most heroic people who have ever lived

The most heroic people who have ever lived

 

Second, consider for a second Conficker. What sort of fuckhead would release this “worm”, spend tons of time researching how it was being combatted, improve the worm and the rerelease it over the course of about six months? A fuck head who wants to make money. If Conficker does anything, it will probably spam all of the infected computers with with ads for Russian mail-order bribes and “spyware removal”. This is obnoxious but not sinister, because in order for online ads to work, the computer displaying the ads has to function relatively normally.

Third, if Conficker is going to steal credit card numbers and send them somewhere, only the people who have contracted it and been too fucking stupid to get one of three million Conficker removers will be effected. Those dumbfucks deserve it. If you haven’t noticed the most widely publicised computer terror since y2k, YOU’RE A FUCKING MORON!!!!

Now stop worrying about Conficker and go back to watching internet porn.