Archive for the Society Category

Gun Nuts are Hypocritical Pussies

Posted in People, Politics, Society with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 27, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

I am sick of hearing people bitch about the supposed “Obama gun ban”. Gun nuts are shitting themselves, buying up ammo and shooting the police all because ignorant fucktard wanker morons like Glenn Beck are trying to convince them that the big bad federal government is “stealing” their liberties. These nutless bastards don’t actually care about liberty, this is all partisan. Some inbred, retrogressive bible humping idiot isn’t in the whitehouse and they feel like throwing little gun nut temper tantrums. They’re like oversized babies with high powered assault weapons of doom.

Every gun nut I’ve seen likes to foam at the mouth and ramble incoherently about how if they don’t have guns, the government can take away their freedoms. They all pretend to be patriotic little heroes who wrap themselves in flags and eat breakfast with Jesus every morning. If you grill them really hard they’ll begin to rant about the constitution and ab0ut how democracy will somehow fall apart if they don’t have a fully automatic weapon which fires armor-piercing hollow-point bullets. If you keep at it, they just intensify their nonsensical flag waving tirade and use the phrase “REAL Americans” and they stress the “REAL” part, because they think that if you are opposed to a private citizen owning an H-bomb, that somehow you are a communist traitor. They also know that this sort of brute force rhetoric will either get people to sheepishly agree, or be silent.

In reality these gun nuts are hypocritical pussies who aren’t fooling anyone with half a brain capable of rational thought. They don’t give a flying fuck about freedom. When the Patriot Act was going through congress did these spineless pussies grow some backbone and try to stop it? Did they try to keep GWB from signing it? Of course they didn’t. They saluted their rebel flags and listened to Lynyrd Skynard while cleaning their goddamn rifles. They don’t care if you take their freedoms,  so long as you don’t touch their guns. They don’t want their guns to protect their freedoms or anybody else’s freedoms. They want their guns to protect their guns.

The only reason these spineless pussies want to have guns is so that they can feel what it’s like to have a cock. A gun is one of the most well known penis replacements and makes these morons feel like they have one. Fuck gun nuts, fuck the NRA, fuck Glenn Beck and Fuck the RNC.

Before gun nuts start posting bullshit on this blog like “If we outlaw guns, only the outlaws will have guns, nyuhurrr!!!” I ask them. If there is a chance that the “outlaws” have an H-bomb, does that make it any better an idea to start selling H-bombs to private citizens? How about vials of smallpox? If the outlaws can get some anthrax should I be allowed to carry around a vial in my jacket pocket? Should I be able to drive a fully loaded tank around? Do you see the lunacy now?

Before anybody spouts off some dumb bullshit about how their machine gun will keep the government from harassing them or taking them away, I invite you all to google Wacko Texas. There was a cult of religious nutjobs in Wacko stockpiling assault weapons. This garnered the ire of the government which rolled in the tanks, burned their compound to the ground and slaughtered 74 of them. Try thinking about that next time you argue that your pussy machinegun can defend you from the government.

I’ve read the constitution. I know about the second amendment. However, it needs to be reworded. 200+ years ago when it was written, the pinacle of guns was a muzzle loaded rifle which fired musketballs with terrible accuracy. The most terrifying weapon in the world was a cannon which fired grapeshot. Now it’s not hard for a private citizen to get a fully or semi-automatic weapon which accurately fires hollow-point ammunition and the scariest weapon on earth is a bomb which can erase a city from existence in a matter of seconds. The founders of this country were not morons, and had they forseen this probably would have made the 2nd amendment a little less ambiguous. I’m sure that George Washington wouldn’t have counted these devices of mass death as the “arms” which he wanted people to bear.

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Republicans are Stupid I

Posted in People, Politics, Society with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 3, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

Obama called neocons out on their bullshit earlier by pointing out that they didn’t have an alternate budget. They then created one. It’s a joke that nobody is laughing at. All the GOP’s budget proposal is, is tax cuts for everyone and a spending freeze to keep everything but military spending at it’s current level for the next five years. There original budget had no numbers, no spending and no deficit projections.

It obviously got laughted at. Proposing a budget without actually proposing a budget is fucking retarded. They were once again called out on their bullshit and responded by redoing their budget with numbers. It supplies major tax cuts for anyone and projects a continuing budget of 500 billion a year. It has no way to pay off the debt, no way to decrease the budget and would probably cause an economic collapse within a decade.

Why are Republicans so dumb?!? Seriously, I WANT A TWO PARTY SYSTEM WHERE NEITHER PARTY IS DOMINATED BY RETARDS!!! Obama’s budget might not be perfect, it might not even be good, but atleast it shows promise of fixing the problem. The Republican strategy seems to be to pretend that there isn’t a problem and continue until the problem becomes fatal. Kind of like someone who is eating food laced with cyanide, and knows that the food is laced with cyanide. The Republican budget is economic suicide and doesn’t make any sense.

Ronald Reagan is the one who started this fiscal irresponsibility bullshit. He’s the one who convinced the GOP that the solution to everything is cutting taxes, giving the military more money and ignoring the deficit. He was the first big government conservative and it almost solely to blame for this bullshit mentality.

NASCAR Fans are Mindless Retards

Posted in Society, Sports with tags , , , , , , , , on April 2, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

As an April Fool’s Joke, NASCAR retards claimed that President Obama had ordered Chevy and Dodge out of the race for recieving bailout funds. This got everyone pissed at NASCAR. NASCAR deserves it. Good job retards.

Using an Apple Computer Will Make YOU Gay!

Posted in Society, Technology with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 2, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

Here’s irrefutable proof!

See any similarities?

See any similarities?

Definitive test

Definitive test

That’s science. Science says that Apple computers will make you gay. Feel free to buy one, but if you are a dude, you will have the sudden desire to suck cock and listen to Abba. If you are a woman, suddendly you will want to wear flannel and be a lumberjack. If you are already a lumberjack, you are immune to becoming gay, though a real lumberjack would destroy a Mac upon noticing it with his mighty lumberjacking ax!

Just being in the vacinity of an Apple computer can give you HIV. HIV was actually created by bad coding on the behalf of Apple computers. If you don’t want to get AIDS, don’t buy a mac. Additionally, Apple computers are fucking expensive and can rarely match the specs of other machines. When I was getting a laptop last fall, I passed by the Apple computers. It was a dark moment full of vasoline and rainbows. In that dark moment, I noticed that Apple laptops cost about 2k and had slow processors and only about 2gb of ram and an 80gp hard drive. My Windows machine, cost about $700, has 4gb of ram and a 500gb hard drive.

Most importantly, it won’t turn me gay.

Don’t think for a second that Ipods are any better. An Ipod will give you HIV just as quickly as an Ibook. Granted, it will do it in a much more musical way, but it will still give you AIDS and at the end of the day, is musical AIDS any better than regular full blown AIDS?

Nickelback Sucks Monkey Ass

Posted in Music, People, Society with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 1, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

 

all labeled n'shit

all labeled n'shit

 Every Nickelback song sounds exactly the same. Nickelback sounds exactly like Theory of a Deadman, Third Eye Blind, Three Doors Down and Creed. Nickelback has no talent and Nickelback fans should be sterilized to keep them from mating. Everytime I hear a Nickelback song, I want rip off my ears and eat them. Every Nickelback song is like being bukkaked in awful music. They pretend to be angst-y and depressed even though they are all millionaires.

The average Nickelback fan is either a douchebag frat boy who wants blasts Nickelback songs from their stupid looking jeeps while trying to look cool for a sorority slut, or a sorority slut. Sometimes they’re fucking retarded middle-schoolers, but most of the time they fall into the frat douche/sorority slut area. These are the dumbest people of earth. Every time a Nickelback album is released there is a big spike in their mating habits. Nickelback should be captured and deported back to Canada, or to Mexico. Preferably in the middle of one of those drug war battles.

Fuck you Nickelback, GTFO my radio.

Kurt Kobain was a Talentless Fucker, Now He’s a Dead Fucker

Posted in Music, People, Society with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 1, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

This is Kurt Cobain.

Utterly talentless

Utterly talentless

He is dead. Let him stay dead. I fucking hate it when I turn on my radio and hear “Smells Like Teen Spirit” or “Rape Me” be droned out by this talentless nutsack. “Smells Like Teen Spirit” sounds like a lobotomized cocaine addict trying to show off on kareoke night at some sleazy bar. It has no lyrical merit at all. It’s just mindless words that occasionally rhyme. If you think think there is any musical talent behind “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, GO DRINK BLEACH!

Kurt Kobain died 15 years ago on April 4. Why is his shit still on the radio? I have a feeling that it only is because he is dead. If Kobain was alive today he would have been forgotten about by now. I propose a new holiday. Anual Kurt Cobain is dead day. On Kurt Cobain is dead day, everyone will go listen to good music and be grateful that Kurt Cobain isn’t around to make new shit.

Can We Nuke Pakistan Now?

Posted in People, Places, Politics, Society with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 31, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

Today some western news agencies recieved a phone call from a Taliban leader named Baitullah Mehsud in Pakistan. He said that he was going to launch an attack on the US which would “amaze everyone in the world”. He then swore alliance with the Taliban in Afganistan. Terrorists are making phone calls to taunt us and threaten us and giving away their location in the process. This brings me to my next question.

Can we nuke Pakistan now? How about Afganistan? 

What stops us from tracing the phone call and stuffing a thermonuclear suprise up Baitullah Mehsud’s ass? It’s called a nuclear deterent for a reason, why don’t we actually use it to deter someone? I have a hard time imagining that any other terrorists would want to attack us after seeing that our counter-attack consists of vaporizing everything they’ve ever known or loved in a huge nuclear fireball. We have the worlds largest thermonuclear arsenal and we should act like it.

It is senseless for us to send in our soldiers to fight and die on the ground when the man in the whitehouse can push a button and erase any trace that our enemies even existed. If there is an attack on the US, I hope we go to the nuclear option immediately. I hope that millions of civilians are killed, either by the blast or by the radiation. I hope that the who country is irradiated for the next 400 years. I hope little Pakistani kids get birth defects from the radiation. I hope we spray the survivors with Agent Orange. I hope it stands as an example to the rest of the planet about what happens when you shed blood on American soil. It will not be war, it will be PEST CONTROL.

Fuck Baitullah Mehsud, fuck Pakistan, fuck Islam, fuck Mohammad, fuck the Taliban and fuck everyone who wants to attack the U.S.

I admit, the U.S. policy for the last eight years has been criminally insane, and I understand why some third world countries would be pissed that we have been using them as our personal toilet for the last 8 years. However, I do not think anything has been done to merit attack on the U.S. I do not think anything has been done, that we cannot repay. Right now we have 5,500 ICBMs with nuclear warheads on them. If Baitullah Mehsud carries out his attack, Pakistan should taste about half of them.