Archive for the Sports Category

NASCAR Fans are Mindless Retards

Posted in Society, Sports with tags , , , , , , , , on April 2, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

As an April Fool’s Joke, NASCAR retards claimed that President Obama had ordered Chevy and Dodge out of the race for recieving bailout funds. This got everyone pissed at NASCAR. NASCAR deserves it. Good job retards.


Michael Phelps Pisses Me Off

Posted in Legal, People, Society, Sports with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 8, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

Here is Michael Phelps:

Half-man, half-manatee

Half-man, half-manatee

Here is Michael Phelps on pot:

Bitchin' watch

Bitchin' watch

Do you see the difference?


Anyone who isn’t living in a cave in Pakistan has heard that Phelps was caught on film smoking pot. There was a media shitstorm about it and Phelps apologiced after kellogs dropped him. Some other advertizers kept Phelps on, but for the most part anything which could potentially be sold to children was dropped and his membership to some silly swimming club was suspended for three months in light of his heinously terrible and near unforgivable actions.
In reality, the media shitstorm which descended upon Phelps was not because he smoked pot. Musicians and actors get caught smoking all kinds of illegal things all the time, they get tossed into rehab and then they pop out fine and nobody but tabloids and tabloid readers take any notice.
Typical tabloid reading retard

Typical tabloid reading retard

The shitstorm descended upon Phelps, descended upon him because he is an athlete. Not only is he an athlete, he is the best athlete in the world in his sport. There are six and a half billion people on earth and none of them are better at swimming than Michael Phelps. If Phelps challenges you to a swimming race, there is no point in accepting, he will kick your ass ten times over.
Right now, you are probably wondering why any of this is relevent. It is because in America, a useless, consevatarded half-wit named Ronald Reagan decided that he would purge the United States of recreational drugs.  Being a typical conservatard, Reagan was not able to think up a plan that did not involve war in some way and thus declared a war that the US can’t hope to pay for called the “War on drugs”. This war on drugs was and is fought in many ways. The only one relevant to this post being the massive propaganda campaign aimed at convincing people that even thinking about thinking about using a controlled substance will immediately turn you into a fat, lonely slob who spends all day in his basement watching Family Guy and eating Cheetos who can at best get a job as a janitor at the local Walmart. Phelps is being so hit with the shitstick because he proves the drug war propaganda to be false. Phelps proves that you can smoke pot and be wealthy, well liked, active and in shape. Granted, he’s about $30 million poorer now that Kellogs has dropped him, but he’s still fantastically wealthy compared to most people in the world. Because Phelps showed the drug war propaganda to be false, he was forced to apologize and his name will be tarnished, probably forever.
Personally, I don’t think that being a fatty who works a mindless job and spends his free time smoking pot is such a bleak life. I myself, do not use any illegal substances. I need to keep my mind clear so that I can earn a PhD in computer science. However, I take no issue with other people who want to smoke pot and clean floors. Even if I were not striving for a higher education, I still would not use drugs, mostly because I am terrified of having my thought processes effected by some external power. However, I feel no need to impose my desire to not use drugs onto other people. If a person wants to responsibly use marijuana within their own home, why should I notice, much less care?
You may be wondering, why Phelps pisses me off, when thus far most of my rant has been about the war on drugs. Phelps pisses me off because he apologized for using drugs. He pisses me off because he caved to the morality squad and claimed that his pot smoking was “bad judgement”. He pisses me off because he is not willing to admit that he smokes pot. More than anything, he pisses me off for not loudly exposing the drug war to be the fraudulent waste of resources that it is.