Archive for retard

Gun Nuts are Hypocritical Pussies

Posted in People, Politics, Society with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 27, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

I am sick of hearing people bitch about the supposed “Obama gun ban”. Gun nuts are shitting themselves, buying up ammo and shooting the police all because ignorant fucktard wanker morons like Glenn Beck are trying to convince them that the big bad federal government is “stealing” their liberties. These nutless bastards don’t actually care about liberty, this is all partisan. Some inbred, retrogressive bible humping idiot isn’t in the whitehouse and they feel like throwing little gun nut temper tantrums. They’re like oversized babies with high powered assault weapons of doom.

Every gun nut I’ve seen likes to foam at the mouth and ramble incoherently about how if they don’t have guns, the government can take away their freedoms. They all pretend to be patriotic little heroes who wrap themselves in flags and eat breakfast with Jesus every morning. If you grill them really hard they’ll begin to rant about the constitution and ab0ut how democracy will somehow fall apart if they don’t have a fully automatic weapon which fires armor-piercing hollow-point bullets. If you keep at it, they just intensify their nonsensical flag waving tirade and use the phrase “REAL Americans” and they stress the “REAL” part, because they think that if you are opposed to a private citizen owning an H-bomb, that somehow you are a communist traitor. They also know that this sort of brute force rhetoric will either get people to sheepishly agree, or be silent.

In reality these gun nuts are hypocritical pussies who aren’t fooling anyone with half a brain capable of rational thought. They don’t give a flying fuck about freedom. When the Patriot Act was going through congress did these spineless pussies grow some backbone and try to stop it? Did they try to keep GWB from signing it? Of course they didn’t. They saluted their rebel flags and listened to Lynyrd Skynard while cleaning their goddamn rifles. They don’t care if you take their freedoms,  so long as you don’t touch their guns. They don’t want their guns to protect their freedoms or anybody else’s freedoms. They want their guns to protect their guns.

The only reason these spineless pussies want to have guns is so that they can feel what it’s like to have a cock. A gun is one of the most well known penis replacements and makes these morons feel like they have one. Fuck gun nuts, fuck the NRA, fuck Glenn Beck and Fuck the RNC.

Before gun nuts start posting bullshit on this blog like “If we outlaw guns, only the outlaws will have guns, nyuhurrr!!!” I ask them. If there is a chance that the “outlaws” have an H-bomb, does that make it any better an idea to start selling H-bombs to private citizens? How about vials of smallpox? If the outlaws can get some anthrax should I be allowed to carry around a vial in my jacket pocket? Should I be able to drive a fully loaded tank around? Do you see the lunacy now?

Before anybody spouts off some dumb bullshit about how their machine gun will keep the government from harassing them or taking them away, I invite you all to google Wacko Texas. There was a cult of religious nutjobs in Wacko stockpiling assault weapons. This garnered the ire of the government which rolled in the tanks, burned their compound to the ground and slaughtered 74 of them. Try thinking about that next time you argue that your pussy machinegun can defend you from the government.

I’ve read the constitution. I know about the second amendment. However, it needs to be reworded. 200+ years ago when it was written, the pinacle of guns was a muzzle loaded rifle which fired musketballs with terrible accuracy. The most terrifying weapon in the world was a cannon which fired grapeshot. Now it’s not hard for a private citizen to get a fully or semi-automatic weapon which accurately fires hollow-point ammunition and the scariest weapon on earth is a bomb which can erase a city from existence in a matter of seconds. The founders of this country were not morons, and had they forseen this probably would have made the 2nd amendment a little less ambiguous. I’m sure that George Washington wouldn’t have counted these devices of mass death as the “arms” which he wanted people to bear.

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Glenn Beck’s 9-12 Principles are Stupid

Posted in People, Politics, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 5, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

——-This is taken directly from Glenn Beck’s site——-
The 9/12

The 9 Principles
1.     America Is Good.

———————————This is my commentary————————————————

I disagree, America is utterly neutral. It is a piece of land. Some people from and residing in America are evil, others are good. For example, the soldiers who killed more than a million civilians in Iraq are evil. The CEOs of bailout companies taking million dollar bonuses are evil. Christopher Dodd, who lied about the bailout bill, is evil. Gun nuts who go on Glenn Beck inspired police killing rampages are evil. Glenn Beck, is evil.

People who volunteer their time and money to help the poor are good. People who put pressure on politicians to stop the war, are good.
——————————————————————————————————–

2.     I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.

—————————————-This is my commentary——————————————-

This is absolute bullshit. God is imaginary. Somewhere between 10%-18% of Americans are smart enough to realize this. Glenn Beck is just trying to get people to rally around his batshit beliefs by throwing in a genocidal desert god. You know what happens when people put their gods first and shove their religion into the government? You get Iran.

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3.     I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.

—————————————This is my commentary——————————————–

I take no issue with this. I think honesty is a good thing.

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4.     The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.

————————————This is my Commentary———————————————–

I disagree, if you’re a religious nutjob who wants to homeschool and brainwash your children, they should be taken away from you. If you abuse your children or try to turn them into retrogressive assholes, you don’t deserve to have children and the government should come and take them and toss you in jail.

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5.     If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.

——————————————This is my Commentary—————————————–

This is what makes neocons truly evil. They refuse to look at context. Neocons like to pretend that we live in a black and white world and that everything is cut and dry. They just want to apply the same moral rules blindly to everything. They declare something evil and then refuse to think about it any further. Let me ask you this, if lying to someone is wrong and getting someone killed when you could have stopped it is wrong, what do you do when a stormtrooper knocks on your door and asks you if you’re harboring any Jews?

If you want to apply neocon justice here, either you’ll be indicted as an accessory to murder, or you’ll be punished for purgery and lying to a law enforcement officer. Blindly applying rules doesn’t work, it has never worked and it never will work. This is common fucking sense.

Not even Glenn Beck agrees with this one. If you want proof, just ask him if he thinks that the Bush administration should face charges for warrentless wiretapping and war crimes.
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6.     I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.

—————————————This is My Commentary——————————————–

I agree, however, not in the way Becktard would like me to. I accept that there will always be and should always be a disparity in wealth between the top and the bottom earners in society. I think that this is a good thing. However, I think the disparity should be smaller. If you have more money than me, you can afford to pay more taxes than me to make sure that I don’t starve to death. If you are obscenely wealthy, you can pay really high taxes and help me get a college education. Doing so is your patriotic duty. Show more fucking loyalty to your county and less to multinational corporations which just funnel money around taxes for a profit.

———————————————————————————————————

7.     I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.

——————————————My Commentary Begins Here————————————

If people would just do the right thing and help eachother out, the government wouldn’t have to force anyone to be charitable. Unfortunately, we are polluted with assholes who trample anyone they can for a profit then scream in agony whenever their tax rates start to approach those of their employees. This is why capitalism is broken, this is why we need government intervention.

———————————————————————————————————

8.     It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.

—————————————-This is my Commentary——————————————-

This is the only one of the nine which I agree with entirely.

———————————————————————————————————

9.     The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.

——————————————–This is my commentary—————————————

This is just fucking stupid. It’s a belief commonly held by neocon nutjobs who scream this whenever a democrat is in power and wants to fix the economy, but scream the opposite when a neocon is in power and wants to start a war with a nation that poses no threat to us. We do answer to the government, THAT’S WHY THEY EXIST, TO FUCKING GOVERN! We just get to pick who we answer to in this system, that’s called democracy. Glenn Beck is just being a little whiny asshole because his guy McCain lost the presidency.

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So that’s it. Out of 9 statements, only two weren’t complete horse-shit. There was only one ever remotely worth agreeing with. Glenn beck is a retard and his children should be retroactively aborted.

John Shimkus is a Fucking Moron

Posted in Legal, People, Politics, religion, Superstition with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 2, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

Watch the video and be terrified. John Shimkus is a dumb cunt and he has political power?!? The video supplied is a congressional hearing on global warming. After hearing a bunch of testimonies from scientists explaining how climate change works and what it is doing, John Shimkus gives his testimony.

Guess what this fuckwhit does, c’mon try to guess.

He starts out by trying to conflate not taking his religious bullshit with censorship, then he whips out a bible and starts reading the part where god promises that he won’t flood the world again. He then says that because he believes that the bible is the perfect infalliable word of god, that settles the global warming issue and that we shouldn’t worry about our inpact on the planet, because Jesus is going to destory the planet. He then goes on to quote revelation to and say that only god know when the world will end. He then states that there isn’t enough carbon in the atmosphere and says that there is a theological debate about wether or not this is a “carbon starved” planet.

What the fuck does theology have to do with reality? Now a single fucking thing! We live in reality, not some fairytale bullshit thought up by bronze age savages to explain away things which they were too fucking stupid to comprehend!

 

I’m now going to refute his argument with his own reasoning on a few grounds:

1. Lets say for a second that the bible isn’t an ancient book of bronze age bullshit. Lets take the enormous leap in reasoning and take it as the infalliable word of a deranged desert god. Even if you take it as literal and true, it says god won’t destroy the world via flooding again. It doesn’t say anything about god preventing humans from destroying the world.

2. In Revelation it says that nobody knows the day nor the hour that the world will end. The climate scientists have predicted neither a day nor an hour. That makes the Revelation reference a non sequitur, even if it is the literal word of god.

People who don’t care about the earth because they think Jesus is coming back to destroy it are morons. They should all go drink bleach and meet their imaginary god a little bit sooner.

I do not want to live in a one party country, but I can’t support republicans so long as they have people trumpeting this stupid bullshit. I can’t believe that they could say these retarded things and then not understand why they’re not getting elected. I would love to see some real Republican opposition to the Democratic leadership. I would like to see fresh ideas. However, fresh ideas aren’t going to come from this fuckhead and his Bible (or as I like to call it, old fasioned toilet paper). It really seems like all of the intelligent people are flocking to one political party though, and that party is NOT the Republican party.

John Shimkus is a fucking retard. If you live in his district, or you vote in his state. Send him some emails letting him know how much of a fucktard he is.

Nickelback Sucks Monkey Ass

Posted in Music, People, Society with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 1, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

 

all labeled n'shit

all labeled n'shit

 Every Nickelback song sounds exactly the same. Nickelback sounds exactly like Theory of a Deadman, Third Eye Blind, Three Doors Down and Creed. Nickelback has no talent and Nickelback fans should be sterilized to keep them from mating. Everytime I hear a Nickelback song, I want rip off my ears and eat them. Every Nickelback song is like being bukkaked in awful music. They pretend to be angst-y and depressed even though they are all millionaires.

The average Nickelback fan is either a douchebag frat boy who wants blasts Nickelback songs from their stupid looking jeeps while trying to look cool for a sorority slut, or a sorority slut. Sometimes they’re fucking retarded middle-schoolers, but most of the time they fall into the frat douche/sorority slut area. These are the dumbest people of earth. Every time a Nickelback album is released there is a big spike in their mating habits. Nickelback should be captured and deported back to Canada, or to Mexico. Preferably in the middle of one of those drug war battles.

Fuck you Nickelback, GTFO my radio.

Kurt Kobain was a Talentless Fucker, Now He’s a Dead Fucker

Posted in Music, People, Society with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 1, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

This is Kurt Cobain.

Utterly talentless

Utterly talentless

He is dead. Let him stay dead. I fucking hate it when I turn on my radio and hear “Smells Like Teen Spirit” or “Rape Me” be droned out by this talentless nutsack. “Smells Like Teen Spirit” sounds like a lobotomized cocaine addict trying to show off on kareoke night at some sleazy bar. It has no lyrical merit at all. It’s just mindless words that occasionally rhyme. If you think think there is any musical talent behind “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, GO DRINK BLEACH!

Kurt Kobain died 15 years ago on April 4. Why is his shit still on the radio? I have a feeling that it only is because he is dead. If Kobain was alive today he would have been forgotten about by now. I propose a new holiday. Anual Kurt Cobain is dead day. On Kurt Cobain is dead day, everyone will go listen to good music and be grateful that Kurt Cobain isn’t around to make new shit.

Can We Nuke Pakistan Now?

Posted in People, Places, Politics, Society with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 31, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

Today some western news agencies recieved a phone call from a Taliban leader named Baitullah Mehsud in Pakistan. He said that he was going to launch an attack on the US which would “amaze everyone in the world”. He then swore alliance with the Taliban in Afganistan. Terrorists are making phone calls to taunt us and threaten us and giving away their location in the process. This brings me to my next question.

Can we nuke Pakistan now? How about Afganistan? 

What stops us from tracing the phone call and stuffing a thermonuclear suprise up Baitullah Mehsud’s ass? It’s called a nuclear deterent for a reason, why don’t we actually use it to deter someone? I have a hard time imagining that any other terrorists would want to attack us after seeing that our counter-attack consists of vaporizing everything they’ve ever known or loved in a huge nuclear fireball. We have the worlds largest thermonuclear arsenal and we should act like it.

It is senseless for us to send in our soldiers to fight and die on the ground when the man in the whitehouse can push a button and erase any trace that our enemies even existed. If there is an attack on the US, I hope we go to the nuclear option immediately. I hope that millions of civilians are killed, either by the blast or by the radiation. I hope that the who country is irradiated for the next 400 years. I hope little Pakistani kids get birth defects from the radiation. I hope we spray the survivors with Agent Orange. I hope it stands as an example to the rest of the planet about what happens when you shed blood on American soil. It will not be war, it will be PEST CONTROL.

Fuck Baitullah Mehsud, fuck Pakistan, fuck Islam, fuck Mohammad, fuck the Taliban and fuck everyone who wants to attack the U.S.

I admit, the U.S. policy for the last eight years has been criminally insane, and I understand why some third world countries would be pissed that we have been using them as our personal toilet for the last 8 years. However, I do not think anything has been done to merit attack on the U.S. I do not think anything has been done, that we cannot repay. Right now we have 5,500 ICBMs with nuclear warheads on them. If Baitullah Mehsud carries out his attack, Pakistan should taste about half of them.

Rebel Flag Waving Retards Should be Castrated With Hammers

Posted in People, Society with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 31, 2009 by thingsthatreallypissmeoff

If you proudly own anything with a rebel flag on it, you are a douchebag. Every time I see someone wearing a hat with a rebel flag or that fucking retarded “tapout” bullshit, I am seriously tempted to punt them in the sack. The only thing dumber than seeing someone flying a rebel flag, is seeing the same person flying an American flag in the same place.

The hat of a retard

The hat of a retard

Rednecks are dumb, racists and bigoted against anyone who isn’t a redneck and proud of it. They’re aparentally not smart enough to realize that the American and Rebel flags are in conflict. The Rebel flag was flown by racist douchebags who wanted to leave the union. The American is a symbol of the union. Flying both makes no sense, it’s fucking retarded and makes whomever is flying the flags a dumb fuck.

If you fly the rebel flag, you should have your testicles smashed with a hammer and then fed to you. In the event you don’t have testicles, you should be fucked with a steak-knife.

Thank you.