Using an Apple Computer Will Make YOU Gay!

Here’s irrefutable proof!

See any similarities?

See any similarities?

Definitive test

Definitive test

That’s science. Science says that Apple computers will make you gay. Feel free to buy one, but if you are a dude, you will have the sudden desire to suck cock and listen to Abba. If you are a woman, suddendly you will want to wear flannel and be a lumberjack. If you are already a lumberjack, you are immune to becoming gay, though a real lumberjack would destroy a Mac upon noticing it with his mighty lumberjacking ax!

Just being in the vacinity of an Apple computer can give you HIV. HIV was actually created by bad coding on the behalf of Apple computers. If you don’t want to get AIDS, don’t buy a mac. Additionally, Apple computers are fucking expensive and can rarely match the specs of other machines. When I was getting a laptop last fall, I passed by the Apple computers. It was a dark moment full of vasoline and rainbows. In that dark moment, I noticed that Apple laptops cost about 2k and had slow processors and only about 2gb of ram and an 80gp hard drive. My Windows machine, cost about $700, has 4gb of ram and a 500gb hard drive.

Most importantly, it won’t turn me gay.

Don’t think for a second that Ipods are any better. An Ipod will give you HIV just as quickly as an Ibook. Granted, it will do it in a much more musical way, but it will still give you AIDS and at the end of the day, is musical AIDS any better than regular full blown AIDS?


5 Responses to “Using an Apple Computer Will Make YOU Gay!”

  1. thingsthatreallypissmeoff Says:

    I knew you would.

  2. […] Using an Apple Computer Will Make YOU Gay! « Things that really … […]

  3. someonewhodied Says:

    I agree 98%. I don’t have a good media cell phone, so I use an iPod, and as you would be able to see if you knew me IRL, I am still perfectly straight. This article is only limited to Apple products that cost over 130$

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